


Deception

by SoraMoto



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Canon Retelling, Fluffy, M/M, Romance, Silly, crossdressing in abundance, genderbending if you squint, slight AU, world wars mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 10:30:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/637955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoraMoto/pseuds/SoraMoto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Neglected and abandoned by France to England, Canada copes by hiding something from England and the whole world. Will this secret ever be found out. Maybe if a stubborn albino ex-nation won't take no for an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The small child stared across the room at the older man standing there. He wasn't as tall as Papa, just a few hairs shorter. His hair was slightly unkempt but in a way that made it seem like he had styled it as such on purpose. His eyebrows were monstrous and very distracting to the timid child. A gentle hand on on the child's back urged him forward and the child turns to see Papa. His blonde hair trimmed neatly in waves to just at his shoulders, his eyes set in a determined pout. The child saw no caring in those cold eyes. Looking back down to the bear held in small arms the child thought about their life up to this point.

Papa had seemed nice at first but had soon lost interest in the northern child, leaving the child to the care of others who saw it as a burden to care for the un-aging child. The child was left alone. When word reached them that Papa had lost a war and his enemy was demanding that the child be handed over to him he had hoped Papa would refuse, would fight more. No such thing happened. Papa had shown up and demanded the child be dressed in the best clothes available. The child looked down at these clothes now. Ruffles and lace everywhere. The top came to the child's knees and cinched at the waist. The servants had even curled the child's hair in the latest fashions, even if the soft hair hardly held those curls.

When the child had reached the half way point across the room the sound of a door shutting signalled that Papa had left. Not even caring enough to see this through to the end. It was too much for the small colony as tears welled in violet eyes. Quick steps strode towards the child but did not cause the child to look up. At least not until the man knelt before the child and wrapped his arms about the small frame.

"It will be alright lass. You'll like it at my place. You'll have friends you can play with and your brother has been asking about you."

The child stopped sniffling when the older man addressed her. This man thought she was a girl. Hadn't Papa told him that his name was Matthieu? But wait this man was being nice to her. Was it because he thought she was a girl? If that was true then Canada would no longer be Matthieu, she would go by a different name.

"He he has been?"

"Yes. Now why don't you tell me your name? I can't just call you Canada forever if I am to care for you properly."

Canada opened her mouth, but nothing came out. What should be her name? "Co could you give me a name?"

The older man gave her a quizzical look, furrowing his eyebrows. "Didn't France give you one?"

"He he did but," At this point her lip began to quiver and she had to fight to hold back tears, "He gave me up. I don't want the name he gave me."

The blonde looked down at the child pityingly before nodding. "Alright then. Let me think. How about Matilda?"

Matilda smiles through her teary expression at her name and nods. "Thank you. I like it very much sir."

"Ah no need for formalities. Feel free to call me Arthur."

"Arthur?" She ponders this for a moment. She had been abandoned by Papa and left with this new man who was kind to her. He even said she had a brother. Calling him Arthur didn't convey her feelings the best, at least she felt it didn't. "Could I call you brother?" She gives him a hopeful look that immediately causes the growing scowl on his face to soften.

"Certainly. I will be your big brother after all, so why not?"

At this time Arthur stands and holds out his hand for the child. She takes it an he leads her out of the room and into her new life. As she crossed the threshold of the door she felt no regrets in leaving Matthieu behind. He wasn't who she was anymore. She wouldn't be forgotten or ignored in her new life. She would have friends. She would have brothers. She did not need Papa, just as he did not need Matthieu. So she left it all behind and embraced her new identity as Matilda.


	2. Chapter 2

The years spent with Arthur and Alfred were Matilda's happiest. She was the center of their world. Alfred stayed near her when Arthur had to leave the North Americans to see to his empire, protecting her from whatever harms might come their way. And when Arthur could he would be there doting on her. She was never lonely and she felt loved and cared for.

Then Arthur began to set heavy taxes on Alfred and his people and they grew disgruntled. They began to rebel and cause trouble for Arthur. Matilda watched as Alfred and Arthur began to argue more often and more heatedly. She began to shut herself up in her room during these moments to shut out the shouting. When all out war began between the two Matilda felt torn. on the one hand she truly loved and cared for Alfred, he was her brother and constant companion. He was the one that kept her safe and played with her while they waited for Arthur to return from his business trips. But Arthur, Arthur had taken her in and given her everything and more than she had ever longed for when she was Matthieu. In the end she choose to pack her bags and leave the home she had shared with Alfred. The house was technically his and in his lands, so it only made sense that she would leave it if she choose Arthur over Alfred.

The war erupted at her decision and Arthur took Matilda back to his London home until things with Alfred were settled. When the revolution was won and Alfred was independent she was taken by Arthur to the signing of the Treaty of Paris. She was terrified when Arthur told her he had lost and she was to come with him to the signing of the treaty as per her brother's wishes. She was scared that Arthur was giving her up just as Papa had. Dressing in her best dress and making sure her long hair was done nicely she accompanied Arthur to Paris.

When the two reached the city and were led to the building where the treaty was to be signed Matilda's breath hitched in her throat. There was her Papa. She had heard that he had been helping Alfred but she didn't think she would see him here. She shrank into herself at his curious gaze when she entered.

"Canada?"

"Oui, Papa."

There was a pause all about them as France took in the girl before him, brows furrowing in confusion.

"I am sorry that I never noticed what a flower you were. Come. Your brother has a question for you before things can be concluded here."

Matilda let loose a silent breath at how quickly France had accepted that she was now a girl. She had been worried that he would make a fuss about her attire and demand to know why his little Matthieu was dressed as a girl. Maybe Alfred had told him about her. Either way it didn't matter as she followed her Papa into the room and to the table set up for the signing.

"Mattie! I hope England's been treating you well and not been making you eat his horrid cooking."

"My cooking is not horrid you insufferable git!"

"He hello Alfred. I... Congratulations I suppose."

"Hey, hey. Don't look so sad about it. I know I'm leaving Arthur, but that doesn't mean I have to leave you too. You're my sister and if you want, you can come back and live with me. I know you went with England when everything started and you were probably safer going to London during all of that but now." At this Alfred stepped forward and took her hand in his, smiling that big happy smile that always made her feel safe when they were small, "But now you can come back with me, we can be independent together. Free of England and together, the way it was always meant to be. Just the two of us."

Matilda's eyes widen and she glances between Alfred and Arthur and France. Her brother looked happy and excited, hopeful even as he expected her to say she would go with him. Arthur would not meet her eyes and just looked down and to the side, though she could see his fists clenching tightly and the slight shake to his frame that showed how upset he was. She knew he was scared she would leave him too from just that. Lastly she looked to France, her Papa. He looked eager, hunger was burning in his eyes and not just directed at her, but at Alfred as well. He was doing something and even though she knew it was something she didn't fully understand why or what. But she knew that if she went with Alfred there would be no escaping France and no escaping the pain of her past with him.

Sadly she shakes her head and removes her hand from Alfred's before walking over to stand before Arthur.

"Big Brother?" He looks up at her, slightly surprised to see her standing before him, though hurt was seeping into his green eyes as he assumed the worst. "This is my choice correct? I get to decide who I stay with?"

Swallowing thickly Arthur nods. "Yes love. This is solely your decision."

"I see, then I would like very much to stay with you Arthur. You've always been so kind to me and while I love Alfred and will certainly miss him I still would like to stay with you."

Stunned silence fills the room before a soft chocked sob breaks it and Arthur pulls the young colony into a solid embrace. He breaks down then and sobs into the shoulder of his charge and she returns his embrace, holding him and comforting him.

"Mon cheri. I do not understand. Why would you want to stay with l'Angleterre? Surely you would rather stay with your brother?"

Matilda looks up to take in France and Alfred. France is pouting like a child who has just been told he can't have a specific toy while Alfred seems confused, not understanding why she is staying with Arthur after everything he had just been through.

Once Arthur had calmed down the treaty was signed and Arthur and Matilda left for London.

"I suppose I will need to build you a new house in Canada since you can not return to your brother's house after this."

Matilda bites her lip in worry. "I can not stay with you Brother?"

Arthur lets out a sigh. "I, you will still need a house in Canada, even if you are staying with me. I can't very well leave by yourself there, but you need to be able to stay there to keep your lands healthy. It was fine for you to not have your own house when you were staying with Alfred. His was close enough to your land to keep your connection strong. Don't worry love, we'll work it out somehow."

And somehow they did. Arthur built her a lovely house. It was everything she could ask for. Most of the time though she was with Arthur, visiting his other colonies or going with him to London. Every now and then he would have to leave her in her Canadian home, but it was never for more than a few weeks while he saw to some business elsewhere in her lands. It didn't bother her since she knew he would be back for her soon.

It was during one of these times that war was once again threatened. Arthur brought word back with him that Alfred, America, had declared war on Canada and the British Empire. Arthur told Matilda to stay in her home in York while he went to the front lines and fought for her. Not long after that word reached her of the war with France at the same time and a terrible sense of foreboding filled her. Arthur did not leave her front lines, even though his forces were loosing. When the fighting reached York Matilda was able to see the fighting and saw Alfred and Arthur face off against one another. She watched as Alfred beat Arthur back until the American forces had taken the city. She watched from her window as he set fire to her capitol and marched on her home with a small squadron of soldiers. She barricaded herself into Arthur's room when she heard them breaking down the door and grabbed for the cutlass he kept above his bed. she had never been shown how to fight or defend herself. As a girl why should she need to, she would always have Arthur or someone there to defend her. Suddenly Matilda wondered if ridding herself of Matthieu was a good idea if it led to her being so unable to fight back. And when Alfred and his men began to break down her last barrier Matilda decided that it wasn't enough to be noticed if it was because she was defenseless. It wasn't enough to live solely as a girl when she could do nothing for her people who screamed for her to fight with them. And she decided that there were times when she would need to be more than she could be as a girl and fight. At that moment the door was broken down and Alfred stepped into the room Matilda raised the blade with both hands and held it pointed at him. Her feet spread and the hilt near her shoulder she was ready and she sent her brother her fiercest glare.

"Do not come any closer America!"

Alfred stopped in his tracks and looked at her in shock. Wasn't this supposed to be his sweet innocent little sister? What had happened to make her suddenly be so angry with him? She should have been happy, happy to be liberated from England.

"Mattie, come on. Put the sword down. We'll go home and it will be just like old times."

"No. Where's Arthur? What have you done to him?"

Frowning Alfred takes a step further but Matilda holds her ground and holds the blade more threateningly. "Come on sis. Why are you worried about that old bastard anyway? I know he had to have told you what to say in Paris. That was supposed to be your choice but I know he someone kept it from really being yours. But you can come with me now and it can be just the two of us."

"I don't want that! I want to stay with Arthur! He's been good to me. I can't just leave him. You don't see what your war with him has done to him. How often he cries himself to sleep because of you. I won't leave him too, I won't. I won't cause him that kind of pain when he was the first person to care about me and love me. He stayed and fought for me even when his own people were fighting someone much more threatening to him. Do you know that France has declared war on him as well? And despite that he stayed to protect me and make sure that I was safe. So just leave already, leave. I've given you my decision. I've given it to you twice now so just leave me in peace."

Matilda was red faced at her short speech. She had let out all her pent up anger in that small rant and she watched Alfred through violet eyes as he raised his rifle at her.

"If that is your choice, then I'm sorry. My boss wants you to join me and if you won't come peacefully then I will have to force you. I can't have England using you to stage an invasion. Come along then, and drop the sword."

Matilda feels her anger grow at how Alfred is treating her. She knew she was a viewed as a girl and as such was not expected to be able to defend herself, but Matilda knew what she really was and despite hiding it that did not make her weak. Refusing to back down she rushes at Alfred with the sword raised and swings it, knocking the rifle from his shocked hands. With a cry she swings her fist and catches him square in the jaw before bolting past the shocked soldiers and into the burning streets of her city. It hurt to do what she did but it had to be done. Even by force she could not allow herself to be taken from Arthur, not when they both needed each other.

She searched the city for him and after an hour of searching managed to find him. He was surprised to see her carrying his cutlass but said nothing of it given the circumstances. The two then fled into the forests and sought out the remnants of Arthur's troops. They watched as the American forces pulled out of York before fully regrouping. Arthur left Matilda in a farmhouse not far from York and told her to stay there and remain safe. She put up some protest at this but was unable to convince Arthur to let her fight with him. Arthur left to go and try to fight Alfred's forces. Matilda found that the farmhouse had been abandoned as the American troops marched on York. A young man must have lived there before the war as she found his clothes. Coming to the conclusion that the only reason Arthur wouldn't let her fight was because she was a girl in his mind she stripped out of her dress and dressed in the boys clothes. They fit rather well and if she tied her hair at the nape of her neck rather than in pigtails then she could pass as a boy. But being dressed as a boy wasn't enough. She needed to be a boy, which meant using a boy's name. She could use Matthieu, but it was so French and she had good reasons for not wanting to associate with the French at the time. Thinking about it for a short moment she decided to use the English version of the name and began to call herself Matthew.

Leaving Matilda in the farmhouse Matthew made his way in the direction that he had last seen the British led Canadian troops go and was able to catch up to them quickly. Shortly after he joined the fight the tides of the battle shifted and the Canadians had the Americans on the run. Matthew was an inspiration to the men fighting alongside him. He had been so green when he first joined up with them but had learned quickly and was soon one of their best riflemen. Matthew wasn't helpless when his men went to war and fought for him like Matilda had been, he was right out there fighting with them. And somehow just over a year after the burning of York Matthew was in the forces that marched on Washington. He was handed a torch and helped set the city ablaze. He watched as the president's house turned black with soot and flame. He had re-payed the debt he owed Alfred for burning his capitol and now it would be over. When word reached the troops that America was surrendering Matthew was already gone. He had to be Matilda for the signing of the treaty and so Matilda he would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maple that was a long chapter. I hope you guys enjoyed this and I hope it wasn't too confusing. I'm trying to use a similar style as what I used in Confession with the pronouns used to describe Canada. And to clear it up, no he does not have split personalities. But depending on the situation he is going to either think of himself as a shel, Matilda, or a he, Matthew. Either way it doesn't change that Canada knows he is a boy and I hope this isn't just confusing you more. Review please!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I had a review asking about why Canada uses female pronouns when he knows he is a guy. Its because when he is Matilda he wants others to see him as a girl and to complete the illusion he refers to himself in the female sense. The same is true for when he is Matthew. To let others see him as male he uses male pronouns to describe himself. On a side note I finally got Prussia in here, yay! Ok on to the story then.

Once the Treaty of Ghent was signed and the war was over Arthur took Matilda home. He helped her to rebuild her house and her city. The two remained close but Arthur had to return home to London, while Matilda was needed in her own lands. Taking on whatever tasks she could Matilda helped to rebuild and strengthen her people. She had a new sense of what it meant to be a nation and fully intended to be a proper nation. She had grown quite a bit following Arthur around and the war had helped to mature her.

Within a few decades of the war she was helping Arthur to organize her lands and unify them into one province. Her borders with America were defined. And after a few more years Arthur gave her some independence in the form of a constitution and a subservient government. Canada was still a part of the British Empire but Arthur did not want what happened with Alfred to happen again. He was making concessions but it showed that he thought of Canada as growing and responsible and it made her happy to stay with him.

Matilda continued to grow eventually she began having to be more deceptive in her disguise. It was no longer enough to simply wear her hair long and dress in girls' clothing. She had to take into account what being a woman meant. The first time she faked her menstrual cycle nearly had Arthur flipping out. He had no idea how to deal with a young woman, albeit Matilda was not his only charge that was a girl but she was the oldest. Arthur immediately called out to his nearest female neighbor, Belgium, and had her give Matilda the girl talk. Matilda found the conversation to be helpful and added to her disguise, she knew that at this point there was no turning back from what she was doing.

When the first World War came around Arthur warned of the dangers of surprise attacks as that had been how many recent wars had been started. Matilda once again found herself being left out of preparations for the fighting. When word reached her that Britain was at war she immediately sought to help her caretaker. Being Matilda though meant that most of the men surrounding her wanted her to stay home and stay safe. She managed to convince her Prime Minister that she could serve as a nurse. In doing so she found someone to take her place and act as her while she shed herself of Matilda and became Matthew once again for the war. From experience he knew that fighting with his men was the best way to ensure victory. Alibi in place he left to fight in the war.

Matthew was there at the Battle of Vimy Ridge and helped lead the troops through the trenches, giving moral support. The trench raiding done for the past several months by the Canadian forces had weakened the resolve of the Germans and strengthened it in the Canadians. The battle was a success for the Canadian troops and Matthew celebrated with his fellows.

Eventually the war came to an end and Matthew returned to Canada as Matilda. The nurse that had aided her in her deception for her leaders was thanked profusely by the nation the two remained in contact for several years until she grew old and died. Matilda attended her friends funeral and found for the first time the pain of being more than human as she watched her friends family grieve.

During the 20's Matilda became more isolated from other nations. Her government worked to gain more independence from Britain and improve relations with the US. Matilda once again began spending large amounts of time with Alfred. He acted as though any previous conflict between them did not exist and Matilda was glad to leave things be so long as he respected her and didn't try to force his ways on her.

When the Great Depression struck Canada, Matilda took it in stride. It seemed that everyone was suffering from this economic down turn. Civil unrest was common and while her government was trying to help the people by giving them work, things were needed that were not given. Strikes blossomed across the work camps.

Matilda also saw that tensions were rising in Europe and as the depression waned began encouraging rearmament. Her boss listened to her. Despite this when Jewish refugees began to seek places to settle her boss was vehement that they not come to Canada. He placed restrictions on those coming from Europe wishing to immigrate an made it very difficult for the refugees to complete the process. Matilda was not happy about this but she could not argue what was a large voice in her population.

When war broke out in Europe Matilda was ready to go and aid Britain as she had done for the previous war. Unlike that war though she was now more independent and in control of her own foreign policy and as such her government wanted to weigh the options and consider what was best for the people. Matilda couldn't argue that but it wasn't long before a decision was made and Canada was fighting in the war. Despite the effects of women's suffrage on their ability to take part in the war effort Matilda still became Matthew once again to fight on the front lines and inspire those fighting for him.

It was during this war that he came face to face with Prussia on the battlefield. Matthew was fighting in northern Europe against Nazi forces and had been separated from his company. Taking shelter in a bombed out church in what once must have been a nice farming town he was stumbled upon by the albino. the two stood at a standstill, weapons raised and ready to fire at a moments notice. Matthew was grimy and dirty and Prussia was not much better though he was dressed as an officer rather than a common soldier as Matthew was.

Prussia was the first to lower his weapon.

"What's your name kid?" The Prussian's accent was thick but Matthew was easily able to make out the question.

Wary of the older man, and aware of just what he was, if not who, Matthew responded. "Matthew, Matthew Williams."

Prussia studied him for a moment before nodding. "I'd say you were American but your uniform isn't quite right and besides." He motions to the patch on Matthew's sleeve that shows his nationality. "The flag is wrong."

"I'm Canadian."

"Hmm. Well either way you're going to have to come with me. I don't know how you got so far back here but you crossed the line so now you're mine." He raises his gun once again and Matthew answers by bringing up his own weapon. Several clicks of weapons being brought up and aimed at him have him lowering his weapon to the ground. Matthew rises with his hand held up and one of the soldiers comes up and binds his hands behind his back. Matthew never lets his eyes tray from the albino's red ones. There was no way that Prussia knew he was like himself. He was just a common soldier where most other nations put themselves up in the ranks as officers of varying levels. So for Matthew to be just a low level common soldier, it wasn't likely that Prussia thought much of him aside from that.

Matthew spent just over a month as a prisoner in Prussia's care. Apparently he had stumbled into the area near an existing prison camp for prisoners of war. Russians, Americans, French and English soldiers were all kept at the camp alongside Canadian, Australian and New Zealand prisoners of war. The short stay for Matthew wasn't due to his allies coming to he rescue and it wasn't due to some prisoner exchange or even the end of the war. No the reason Matthew was only there for just over a month was because he led the other prisoners to rise up. They were all trained soldiers so it was easy enough to assess who could do what and equip them with what they needed. On the night that they sprung themselves several soldiers, Matthew included, snuck up on the night guardsmen and disarmed them. Matthew had taken to disarming the Prussian.

"Fuck!" Prussia glared at Matthew. "You cheeky little bastard. Wat the hell do you think you're doing?"

Matthew tilted his head o the side and hummed a moment. "I'm getting myself and the others out of here. what does it look like I'm doing. Now," Here Matthew raises his stolen weapon so it is level with Prussia's heart. "Tell them to open all the gates. We'll be taking our leave of you here."

Faced with no other choice than to comply Prussia orders the guards to open the gates and free the prisoners.

As they are leaving Prussia shouts after Matthew. "Matthew Williams! Don't think I'll forget this. You're a good soldier and while I hate to admit to this humiliating defeat you led your men well. You deserve this freedom. But mark my words when next we meet there will be reparations."

Matthew just smirked, his back to the camp as he followed after the others. He highly doubted that and he was sure that Prussia still thought he was a normal human soldier and so the threat was empty.

When Canada did next meet with Prussia it was as Matilda. The war was won and the Allies were discussing the punishment of the Axis. Matilda was there to represent her nation's interests. She frowned when the decision was made to dissolve Prussia into the Soviet Union and East Germany. After the meetings were concluded that day Matilda bumped into Prussia as she was leaving. He steadied her and the two locked eyes. At first Matilda thought the Prussian would recognize her and expose her. During the war she had had to cut off most of her hair and was unable to put it into the distinctly feminine pigtails she adored. The shorter shoulder length blonde locks were more tomboyish than sh was used to but the curls made it effeminate enough to make her convincing. But Prussia had spent over a month in Matthew's presence and before that had never met the Canadian. She hoped he wouldn't make a connection.

"Woah there Birdie, no need to be rushing all over the place." Matilda looks away from him, blocking eye contact and playing at being shy. Prussia studies her for a moment after steadying her and lets her go. "You're Canada right?"

Matilda nods her head.

"Good. I was actually hoping to run into you. I wanted to talk about one of your soldiers that I met."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, his name was Matthew Williams. Stubborn little bastard. Anyway I just wanted you to get a message to him for me."

Matilda was rather relieved, he didn't recognize her! "Uh, sure. I can do that. Do you know what division he was in?"

"Well no, not exactly." Prussia rubs the back of his head, "He was a POW in the camp I was stationed at. He led the other prisoners in a rebellion at the camp and they all escaped. I'm sure that should make him easier to track down at least, right? Anyway, just tell him I haven't forgotten him. Even though it looks like we'll never meet again."

"I'll be sure to tell him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter but a good one. Yes! Finally have Gilbert making an appearance. Mein gott that seems like it took forever. Hope you all liked this, review please.


	4. Chapter 4

Gilbert left from his encounter with Canada feeling slightly better about his future. That soldier, Matthew had shown him that even if one doesn't have a whole lot going for them that they can still persevere and triumph. With his head held high Gilbert made his way to the room in which the Soviet Union was waiting for him. He didn't know exactly what awaited him in his future but he would take a lesson from Matthew and do what he could, even if escape in this situation was not possible.

Life for Gilbert quickly became Hell. From the end of the war to the sixties when the Berlin Wall was built was bad, but he found himself able to persevere. He could visit his brother and that helped but Russia was a cruel master and would often beat Gilbert for speaking out of line. Then the wall went up and he felt as if he was in a prison. He was not allowed to meet with anyone outside of the Soviet Union and its allies. Tensions amongst those behind the Iron Curtain began to grow and then it was as if an angel came to them in the form of a sweet little blonde. Canada began to come over to Russia's house to watch hockey games sometime in the late 70's. She w kind and for some reason when she scolded Russia for being cruel to his underlings the giant would listen. Gilbert hated the way he would see Ivan grow kinder while in the Canadian's presence. And it took him a while to realize why. He was jealous because she would direct those soft smiles and kind eyes at Russia. Russia who was cruel and harsh and didn't deserve those soft hands anywhere near him.

Gilbert stood in the window of his room watching as Canada left after having stayed the night for a hockey game once again. He didn't understand why he felt so protective of the little blonde, jealous even. It didn't make sense. Maybe it was because of Matthew. Oddly enough that was how Gilbert knew she had to be Canada the first time they met. She looked so much like that soldier and now he was seeing him in her and getting jealous because she was spending time with Russia. Gilbert sat down heavily on his bed and held his face in his hands. Gott, how could he be doing this. Getting close to humans was a bad idea. Being friends with them was worse. But by far the worst thing a nation could do was fall in love with a human. Humans didn't last, they grew old and died. That was why it was the biggest taboo for a nation to fall in love with a human.

Gilbert had seen first hand what it had done to Francis. Jeanne had been a wonderful girl and her time was even shorter on this earth due to England's interference but it didn't change the fact that regardless she would have died and left Francis' heart broken. Now Gilbert found himself questioning why he was falling in love with a man he had barely even known. He had watched as Matthew was held in that camp and realized he couldn't take his eyes off of him. Even so the soldier had rallied the prisoners and led them out of that prison and to freedom. Canada must have been very proud to call herself home to such a soldier. He must be old by now. Married and with kids, maybe even a grandfather already. He wondered if he told them about how he escaped that prison. He couldn't help but imagine that for the tenacious blonde. A happy little child bouncing on his knee as he regaled them with tales of his military career. It brought a small smile to the albino's lips. He wondered if Matthew ever thought of him the way that he thought of Matthew. Gilbert chuckled. Wouldn't that just be grand. If Matthew even remembered him what must he think of the Prussian soldier that acted as his guard while he had been held prisoner. It didn't matter they'd never meet again so why dwell on it.

The next several years seemed to fly by. By the eighties Canada was coming less and less often and the Soviet Union was beginning to fall apart. In the end the wall fell and Gilbert was sent to live with his brother. It was a stiff but happy reunion. When asked how he survived his internment without any psychological scars like so many of the other nations under Soviet control Gilbert simply answered, "I had an awesome source of inspiration to get me through it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By no means is this the end. I just wanted to give perspective on how Gilbert viewed both Matthew and Matilda. All those thoughts will come together in the coming chapters. Review please.


	5. Chapter 5

After her encounter with Gilbert at the end of the war Matilda found herself being made busy by her government as new policies were made and new lands were added. To add to that she soon found herself caught in the middle, quite literally, of the Cold War. Geographically she was the largest land mass separating the two superpowers. From a personal side both Russia and America claimed closeness to her, Alfred kept berating that she was his sister while Ivan kept toting on the fact that both nations made up the borders for the North Pole. As her boss preached neutrality in the stand off Matilda was made to play nice with both nations often visiting them or having them visit her. Of course she always made sure that the two were never at her house at the same time as even she knew it would be disastrous.

It was during her visits to Russia's house that she began to see more of Prussia. The older nation intrigued her. He didn't seem as broken as the other Soviet nations at the house, remaining stubborn despite the evidence of abuse. Matilda scolded Ivan on his treatment of others in hopes that he would stop hurting and scaring those under his power. She saw a decrease in the evidence of abuse after that but she could tell it was still there. Ivan it seemed only wished to appease her by keeping from her what he was truly like. Matilda felt sorry for the Soviet nations but there was little she could do other than visit and give them respite. And still, in-spite of this abuse Prussia seemed to almost thrive. She wondered about why he was able to over come this adversity but was never given an opportunity to ask.

Matilda wasn't sure exactly when it began but if she had to guess it would be sometime in the 70's. She was visiting Ivan when she noticed he was getting rather close and touchy. She tried to distance herself and discourage the Russian but he was persistent. Distraught she began coming to his place less often. He began coming to hers though to make up for it it seemed. One day when the Russian was over unexpectedly the two were sitting in the living room. Ivan had situated himself next to Matilda on the couch and she had moved as close tot he armrest as was physically possible. Despite this the other half of the couch wasn't getting used very much as Ivan was practically on top of her. Matilda didn't know exactly how the next set of events came to be but she was mixed between being grateful that Alfred also decided a surprise visit was warranted and pissed off that he would ignore her one request to always be given warning of his visits to prevent exactly what happened next.

Alfred came through the door in his typical American fashion and spotted Matilda on the couch with Ivan practically draped all over her. At that moment he saw red and rushed the Russian. The two went over the couch and right into the coffee table. Matilda let out a squeak of surprise at how suddenly she was alone on the couch. At seeing her superpower brother and his superpower rival duking it out on the remains of her coffee table, screaming obscenities at one another, Matilda had enough. Standing up she reaches out and grabs both men by their collars and hoists them up and apart. With an angry scowl she directs Alfred to her kitchen. He protests a bit, not wanting to leave his little sister alone with the big commie brute and completely ignoring the fact she manhandled him and the Russian single-handedly. A glare has him scurrying into the other room and Matilda is left alone with Ivan. Seeming happy to be alone with Matilda once again He smiles and makes to embrace her but is stopped by a firm hand on his chest. Matilda looks up at Ivan, the anger dimmed behind her eyes but still there even as she puts on a neutral expression.

"Ivan, I think you should go."

"Hmm, but I have just gotten here. I realize that your idiot brother barging in like that has upset but I can make him sorry for interrupting." The Russian moves to head for the kitchen but is once again stopped by a hand on his chest. He looks down at the blonde and blinks in confusion.

"No Ivan. I'm mad at him, yes, but not because he interrupted you. I don't know what you thought our friendship may have been about but I am not interested in you the way you are interested in me. If you can't respect that then I suppose we can't be friends anymore."

The smile that Ivan always seemed to wear became strained as he seemed to fight to keep from scowling. Matilda never took her eyes from him and eventually he left, silently and in no hurry. He did not want her or the American to think he was leaving in defeat.

After Ivan left Matilda went into the kitchen to see a pouting Alfred sitting at her kitchen table.

"I'm still mad at you for coming over unannounced and breaking my coffee table. You're fixing that or buying me a new one by the way." She begins to get out the ingredients to make pancakes.

"Are you mad at me for beating up your boyfriend too?"

Matilda sets the pan onto the stove with a sigh and turns to her brother. "Ivan isn't my boyfriend. And the only reason I'm not reading you the riot act is you came in at the perfect moment to get him off me."

Alfred's eyes seemed to widen a bit at what she just told him and he nearly jumps from his seat to comfort his little sister. But apparently Matilda knows him well enough that the moment he moved to do so she was shaking her head at him.

"Al, that's not to say I couldn't have gotten him off if it came to that but I appreciate that you would rescue me from the 'giant commie creeper' as you would put it." She turns back to making pancakes as Alfred settles back into his seat.

"So what was he doing here anyway sis? I know politically you two are friends or something but why did he have to be over here?"

"Alfred I'm sort of caught right between you two all the time during this whole Cold War you have going on. Heck Germany even sits me between you two at meetings because I seem to be the only one capable of sitting there and preventing World War III. I'm politically neutral, but that doesn't mean I like him as a person. I've seen what he's been doing to the Soviet nations behind that Iron Curtain and the main reason I still go over there to visit is because he seems to be nicer to them when I am around." She frantically stirs the batter as her anger at the Russian is vented. "And look where that's gotten me. Practically molested. I swear sometimes I think the only reason he is nice to me is so he can trick me into joining him and then rub it in your face." A violent swirl of the batter has half of it going onto the counter. Pausing Matilda takes in the spilled batter and sighs before setting the bowl down and turning off the stove. She then sits down heavily across from Alfred and rests her head in her hands. "God, I can't do this anymore Alfred. I don't want to add to the tensions between you two but I'm not interested in Ivan. I'm not even interested in remaining friends with him at this point regardless of how much my boss wants me to remain neutral."

Alfred lay a comforting hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle pat. "Its ok Mattie. I'm sure if you explain to your boss what's going on he won't make you continue to spend time with him."

Matilda looks up at her brother and smiles, thankful that he isn't ranting about what a bad person Ivan is, even if most of it is true. "Thanks Al. I'll be sure to do that."

Matilda did speak with her boss and he seemed absolutely appalled by Ivan's behavior towards his nation. He told her that from then on she wouldn't be made to spend time with the Russian outside of meetings and other political gatherings between the two nations. Thankful Matilda went home and spent the remainder of the Cold War with no further personal visits from the Russian.

Then the Soviet Union collapsed. The wall came down and all the Soviet nations were back in their own houses. Matilda was happy for them, they deserved this. She knew they had been through a lot and she hoped this would help them to recover. She made one visit to Ivan after his house fell into shambles. He hadn't changed much. She could see that he was thinner, his economy was suffering and was one of the major reasons his government collapsed. His clothes more threadbare. He had lost everyone and Matilda saw how behind his cold and angry eyes he was sad and confused that everyone had left him. He was lonely. Matilda sympathized with that loneliness, thinking back on her own life before England came to take her from France. Not really understanding why, and slightly wishing she could take it back, she leaned over and gave Ivan a comforting hug. The action caused Ivan to stiffen in surprise before looking down at Matilda and returning the embrace.

"I am sorry for everything little one. I do not deserve your sympathy."

"No, everyone deserves sympathy, even the most cruel. They perhaps deserve it more." She looks up at him. "If you will respect that I only wish to be friends we can be friends."

The Russian let a genuine smile grace his features before answering.

"Da."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, isn't that cute. I hope you guys are liking this so far and I really hope that the confusion from the first two chapters is clearing up. Canada is a boy, no ifs, ands, or but about it. He does not think he is a girl, he knows he is a boy. He is just very good at acting like a girl and even will think of himself using feminine pronouns to complete the illusion. Anyway review please.


	6. Chapter 6

After saying goodbye to Ivan Matilda heads home. She was determined to check up on the other Soviet nations and make sure they were doing well. Grabbing a basket she fills it with bottles of maple syrup and heads out for a short tour of Europe. She stops at the homes of each of the former Soviet nations and delivers to each a bottle of maple syrup explaining to each how eating it will bring one happiness. She reaches Germany's door on the afternoon of April 1st, even though she doesn't fully realize this having lost track of time on her travels. Knocking on the door she smiles and prepares herself to ask for Prussia and is happy to see he answers the door.

Prussia looks surprised to see her but smiles.

"Hey, Canada what brings you here?"

Matilda smiles and pulls out the last bottle of maple syrup. "I came to give you some maple syrup." She holds the bottle up with a smile. "It brings happiness to those that eat it."

Prussia gives her a skeptical look. China had been by earlier and tricked him into buying a couple of pandas and even if she was cute he wasn't sure if his brother would appreciate him blowing more money on something useless. "How much is it going to cost me?"

Matilda blinks at Prussia in confusion. "Cost you? It won't cost you anything, its a gift. I've been giving them to everyone." She tilts her head to the side causing Prussia to blush slightly at how cute she is.

"Uh well, if that's the case." He reaches out to take the bottle from her. "Uh thanks." He hurriedly closes the door and leans against the inside as Matilda stands outside confused by his behavior. Shrugging it off she heads home, her errand completed.

Prussia remained propped against the inside of the door to the house for a few more minutes before taking a look at the bottle in his hand. The amber liquid was thick and clung to the insides of the bottle. Prussia unscrewed the cap and sniffed at the contents. They were sweet and had a woodsy smell to them. He paused in what he was doing as the smell brought to mind the two people that constantly seemed to invade his thoughts: Canada and Matthew Williams. Shrugging he takes a quick sip of the liquid and his eyes widen. It was really good. It wasn't long before he had finished off the bottle.

When Matilda got home she let herself relax. Removing her coat and hanging it on her coat rack by the front door before calling out for Kumajirou. The bear came running to her and looked up at her curiously.

"Who are you?"

Matilda sighs. "I'm Matilda, you know Canada, the one that takes care of you." She was getting a bit annoyed with how her bear always seemed to forget her. He had been doing so since she had first gone to live with England and decided to live as a girl. The only times he seemed to recognize her were when she dressed as Matthew. it was rather frustrating, why did the bear have to care if she was a boy or a girl, she certainly didn't.

"Oh. Hungry."

With another sigh Matilda makes her way to he kitchen to prepare dinner for the two of them.

It was after dinner while Kumajirou and Matilda were settled down on the couch that something interrupted their normal routine. A loud pounding on the front door had Matilda nearly falling off the couch and onto the floor in surprise. Still startled she turns around and looks over the back of the couch toward her front door. The pounding has continued and is now mixed with insistent calls of 'Canada! Hey, Canada!' Slowly Matilda stood up and made her way to the front door. She pauses in front of it for a moment before hesitantly reaching out and opening it. She nearly gets a face full of fist as the man pounding on her door almost doesn't seem to notice her opening it. He stops though and just stares at her for a moment.

"Prussia?"

The albino looks at her quizzically for a moment before nodding.

"Yeah, that's me. Hey I know this may sound awkward but you got anymore of that awesome syrup?"

Matilda blinked and almost closed the door on the man. His honest face the only thing preventing it. That and Matilda had to admit he looked rather cute trying to ask for something so silly so nonchalantly.

"Of course. Um, come on in and I'll get some for you." She bites her lip in nervousness before leading the Prussian to her kitchen and getting into her cupboards for the syrup. "I'm kinda curious though. How did you go through all of that in such a short time?" She walks over to him with the bottle, handing it to him.

"Er well, once I started drinking it, it just kinda went..." Prussia let himself trail off at the dumbfounded and shocked expression on Matilda's face.

"You drank it?"

"Yeah... Wasn't that what I was supposed to do?"

"Well you can I suppose but, straight? Mon dieu. You could have mixed it with something or poured it over pancakes. Honestly."

Prussia just watched the Canadian as she tried to explain the proper use of maple syrup to him.

"Pour it over pancakes?" He made a face at that that caused Matilda to step back in disbelief. "Have you ever had West's pancakes. They're horrible. Barely even edible." Prussia would have gone on but Matilda was already forcing him into a seat at the table.

"Sit." She then went over to the stove and grabbed a pan before getting her ready-made mix, which she made herself, eggs and milk to start making pancakes. "I will show you the wonder that is pancakes properly. As for Germany's pancakes... If they are as horrible as you say I'll make you up some instant mix, all you have to do then is follow the directions and you can have these whenever you want."

Prussia sat at the table watching the blur of motion that was Matilda in the kitchen. She moved with such precision and grace. The Prussian couldn't tear his eyes off of her until she had turned to him and set a stack of fluffy pancakes in front of him. Then she took the bottle from his hands and poured a generous amount over the cakes before setting it down and placing a fork beside the plate. Then she went across the table and repeated the process on a second stack.

Prussia picks up the fork and looks warily at the fluffiness in front of him before tentatively cutting out a bite and raising it to his mouth. He slowly puts it into his mouth and his eyes widen as the flavors hit his tongue.

"Mein Gott!" The rest of the pancakes vanish rather quickly after that.

When he was done and his plate was cleared Prussia went back to watching Matilda. She could feel him watching her and it made her a bit nervous. Setting the dishes into the sink she turns around.

"So uh, would you like me to put together some of the pancake mix for you?"

"That was from a box?" Disbelief colors Prussia's question and he stares ate her even more.

"Uh, well no, not exactly I guess. Once a month I mix up all the dry ingredients for pancakes so it saves me time when I want some."

Realization blossoms across Prussia's face when he hears this. "Awesome! Sure I'll take some if you're offering."

Smiling Matilda pulls out a tub and lid and then pulls down the container with her pancake mix. Using the cup measure she used earlier to measure it out she scoops some into the tub and then secures the lid. "There, that should be enough. Oh I almost forgot the directions." Hurrying over to the fridge Matilda grabs a pad of the front, held there by magnets, and quickly writes down the directions for making pancakes. Taking some tape, she then tapes it to the lid of the tub and hands the package to Prussia. "There you go."

Prussia takes the tub and looks over the directions. "Thanks."

As he is looking over the directions for the pancake mix Matilda studies him. He really had fared better than the others in the Soviet Union and now she had a chance to ask why.

"Prussia?"

He looks up at her curiously. "Ja."

"Um, while you were living with Russia... How did you..." She bites her lip, worrying it between her teeth.

"Are you asking about why I'm better off mentally than the others?"

Sheepishly, she nods.

Prussia runs a hand through his white locks with a sigh. "Don't worry I get that question a lot. And to be honest I think you're the only person I'm up for telling the answer to."

"O oh?"

"Yeah. You remember how after the war I asked you to look up one of your soldier and tell him I still remember him."

"Yes."

"I tried being like he was. He never let the conditions of his situation get him down. Hell he even rallied the others into rising up and fighting us." Gilbert lets out a small chuckle at the memory. "I guess I kind of tried to mimic him as best I could. Thinking about him and keeping my head up were the two things that got me through all of that. I know it may sound strange but that's how it was."

Matilda swallowed thickly. He had remembered. He had remembered her male self after all these years and it helped him get through one of the worst times of his life. She felt a hollowness begin to grow in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to tell him, but she was still too scared. What if she told him and he told the others? What if she lost everything and was once again ignored? She fought back the urge to say anything to him.

"Hey, did you ever find him after the war and let him know I didn't forget him?"

She opened her mouth expecting to have gone mute from the confusion and fear inside of her but instead out came, "Yes, he was surprised to hear about you. He hoped you got off easy in the trials since you weren't really a bad person."

"Yeah well back in the day prisoners of war were actually treated like people so I guess I tried to maintain that at the camp. Still things could have been better. Did he ever get married or have kids? Is he even still alive?"

Matilda was shocked by his questions. Why was he so interested in someone he thought was human. "No, he never married or had kids." She looked at him as she paused before answering him about whether Matthew was still alive. She didn't know herself. She had created him for war but there had not been war in so long and the future didn't look like there would be a war anytime soon. Biting her lip she saw how eager Prussia was to learn the fate of Matthew and that gnawing feeling in the hollowness of her gut grew. "No, he died a few years ago. I'm sorry."

Prussia seemed to fall a bit hearing that but smiled up at her sadly. "That's to be expected." Slowly he stood. "I should probably be getting home before West sends out a search party for me. See ya round Canada."

She showed him to the door and watched as he got into a rental car and drove off. She felt horrible for telling him what she had but it was sort of the truth. Matthew was dead. The way things were now and how they looked to be going she would not have need of him ever again. If that was the case then he truly was dead. Closing the door she thought of his face as she told him this and how it had fallen slightly when he learned Matthew was dead. Her heart ached at the thought. Prussia couldn't have been in love with Matthew right. She remembered Arthur's stern warning about falling in love with humans. How it only led to misery. Prussia had only known Matthew for that time in the prison camp and after that he had survived Russia while thinking of him. He must have idealized Matthew as a figure of hope to survive that. It only made sense that he would fall in love with that idealized version. It still caused Matilda's heart to ache.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo, so I hope you enjoy this. I've been getting some wonderful reviews so please keep those coming. Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

After Gilbert left Canada's house he headed for the airport, pondering over the new knowledge of Matthew's fate. Maybe it was for the best. Its not like he could have just shown up on the man's doorstep after all these years and expected him to accept his friendship or whatever. At least this way Gilbert wouldn't embarrass himself in front of the other. He glances down at the maple syrup and pancake mix on the passenger seat beside him. It brought to mind memories of the blonde Canadian that gave them to him. She was cute, almost too cute and he knew she was nice, practically the only person that came to visit the Soviets during their incarceration. Maybe they could be friends.

Or maybe Gilbert had a crush on both Canadians that wouldn't leave his head, only one of which was practical and neither of which he stood a chance with.

Gilbert pulls into a parking space at the car rental place near the airport and rests his head on the steering wheel. This was too much for him. Did he only like Canada because she reminded him of Matthew or was it because of who she was. If Gilbert was to be completely honest with himself he would have to say he hardly knew either of them well enough to be this torn up over them.

To hell with it, he would just go with the flow on this and see where it led him.

So over the next several years Gilbert found himself visiting Canada quite frequently after that. His initial reason for visiting her was to get more maple syrup and pancake mix, but he always stayed for pancakes made by Canada herself. His excuse was that hers were just better even if the same things were always going in. He joked once that it may have been the bagged milk. Then one day he was over begging more pancakes off of her when she sighed and told him they would have to wait till after her hockey game.

"You play hockey?"

She blushes prettily before shaking her head. "No, I just like to watch. I go and support the teams every now and then and I was planning to go today."

"Oh." Gilbert had looked down dejectedly, he had really been wanting to spend some time with the Canadian.

"You know I can get you a ticket, if you want to come with me that is."

Gilbert's head had shot up faster than you could blink before grabbing Canada's hand and dragging her over to her car.

"Awesome, sounds like fun."

That first hockey game with Canada had been a real eye opener. She hadn't held back. She was up on her feet and screaming all the while. Shaking her fist and nearly punching Gilbert's eye out. But her team had won so on their way to her car she was ecstatic.

"That was amazing."

"Yeah, you got pretty into it back there. Maybe I should come to these things more often."

She shot him a winning smile, her cheeks flushed from the excitement of the evening.

"That sounds great. I'll let you know when the next game is." She then paused for a moment before pulling out a pen and piece of paper, "You should probably give me your number so I can call you for the next game."

"Sure." He then took the paper and pen and jotted down his number. As he was handing the paper back to her he was struck by an idea. The two were still on nation names with each other and Gilbert felt it was about time that they took this friendship a step farther. "By the way feel free to call me Gilbert."

Canada had then blushed slightly before ducking her head and answering his unasked question. "Matilda. You can call me Matilda."

After that things fell into something of a routine between the two. Gilbert would come over at least once a week for pancakes and hockey. When meetings rolled around the two would sit together during breaks and chat. It was at one of the meetings that Gilbert was approached by America. Matilda had just gotten up to go to a meeting for the Commonwelath and left Gilbert behind when America came up to him with a scowl on his face.

"Prussia."

"Yo America, how are things going?"

"Good I guess. But I was kind of curious about why you're talking to my sister so much."

Gilbert had to stop himself from lashing out at the obvious distrust in the American's tone.

"What, we can't be friends?"

America narrowed his eyes at the albino. "I don't know can you?"

That was all Gilbert could take of the American's attitude. It was like he was accusing him of trying to hurt the Canadian. Just thinking that America thought he could hurt Matilda made his blood boil.

"What the hell is your problem? We're just hanging out and talking. Its not like I'm trying to molest her or anything. Scheisse! She's my friend, I could never hurt her or let anyone else hurt her."

America continued to glare at the albino. "My problem is that she's been tricked before. It hasn't been that long since you were Soviet and given that you came out of it so well I'm guessing you and Russia were in on things together." America leans in his face inches from Gilbert's. "And if you think I'm going to sit back as you try and take advantage of her the same way that Commie bastard did then you have another thing coming."

Gilbert was shocked. Russia had done what? Gilbert backs down from the American, his bangs covering his eyes in deep shadows and his fist clenching tightly at his sides. In a low deadly voice America just made out what he said. "I'll kill him. How dare he! That's why she stopped coming by. That fucker is going to die."

America had been a bit surprised at first he thought Gilbert had been angry at him from ruining his plans. But he was pissed at Russia. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all.

"Hey calm down. Its not like he got anywhere. Just got a bit grabby before I found out and she stopped going over to his place."

This seemed to calm Gilbert down a bit and America let out a sigh.

"Sorry. Its just, you weren't there. It was hell, absolute hell, living with Russia. Matilda was the one ray of light, of hope, that we all had."

"Dude, that's harsh. I guess that's what she was talking about after we chased Russia off that day."

"Yeah well I can't blame you for thinking the worst of me." Gilbert smirks, "After all if I had a cute little sister like that I'd be all over any guy that got to close to her myself."

After that the two had a bit more bonding and when Matilda came back from her meeting she was met by the sight of the two laughing good-naturedly together.

Over time Gilbert felt himself growing even fonder of the Canadian. He began taking longer trips to visit her. Sometimes staying for a full week at a time. Eventually he just gave into the urge and started flirting with Matilda to see how she reacted. When he got a blushing and stuttering Canadian he took it as a positive sign and continued. It all came to a head when one night the two were watching a hockey game at Matilda's home. The two were sitting on the couch when the end of game buzzer went off. The two jumped to their feet in raucous cheers since their team had won. In the heat of the moment Gilbert had taken hold of Matilda and kissed her. It wasn't a deep kiss, lips stayed closed, but it was more than a friendly peck. Both felt a spark at the touch of lips and before either realized it they had gone for a second, more heated kiss.

Gilbert was in heaven. Her lips were so soft and she tasted so good. Gilbert wanted more at that point and his hands began to wander from her shoulders down her back and began to make their way to her ass with plans to pull her flush against him. It was in the moment before he did that that Matilda pulled away from him completely. She forced his hands from her and stepped back, a hand going to cover her slightly parted lips. Gilbert was surprised to see not only shock but fear in those violet glassy orbs.

"Matilda?"

"I'm sorry. I I just can't."

With that short phrase she bolted up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door behind her. Gilbert swore he heard the lock click after the slam.

What had just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooo a cliffy. And we are getting close to the end. Sadly yes. But for all you wonderful readers out there do not give up hope for I may do a sequel, but lets try getting some of my other stories done first... Yes, finish things before starting something new. Anyway review please.


	8. Chapter 8

When Gilbert had pressed his lips to hers, Matilda had felt a thrill go through her. It was wonderful and it felt so right. He had pulled back only for the both of them to dive in once more for a more heated kiss. As their lips locked Matilda felt herself getting hotter and aching to press against the albino. Then, as his hands were making their way to her ass, she had remembered her deception. In a sudden panic she pushed away from Gilbert, took in his surprise and apologized before running up to her room and slamming and locking the door. If she had let that continue he would have found out and she was certain he would hate her for deceiving him.

Shakily she went over to her bed and lay down, pulling the sheets over her and curling into a ball. Why did this have to happen? She truly liked the albino but after what had just happened she wasn't entirely sure she could continue just being friends. She squeezed her eyes shut and fought back sobs as her heart ached painfully in her chest at the thought of what she had to do to keep her secret. She would have to make him hate her, somehow. Maybe she could tell Alfred that he'd tried something like Russia. No, even if the two seemed to get along Matilda knew how protective her brother was of her. She was his 'little' sister and any nation that crossed the line was on his hate list. She didn't want Gilbert beaten to a bloody pulp, she just wanted to make him not want to come back and see her ever again.

There was a knock on her door and she stilled her sobs as Gilbert called out to her.

"Mattie? Birdie, what's wrong? Look, I'm sorry if I scared you down there." She could tell he was sincere, which made what she felt she had to do hurt even more. "It won't happen again. I'll behave, I promise. Its just, I really like you. I have for a while. Just please Birdie, don't push me away."

At Gilbert's pleading tone Matilda felt her heart snap. She couldn't do this, she couldn't just tell him off and make him leave her, not when she felt the same. But her secret, her deception, her lies. He would end up hating her if he found out, forgetting her. Even if he had remembered Matthew that didn't mean anything. He hadn't mentioned her male alter ego in ages and she was sure he must have forgotten all about him. So why would she be any different if he found out that she was Matthew. She buried herself under the sheets further and remained quiet. She heard shuffling at the door before soft foot steps walked down the hall to the guestroom. More shuffling came from the other side of the wall that her room shared with the guest room. The footsteps returned and paused outside her room.

"Birdie I'm going to a hotel for tonight." A small pause. "You have my number if you want me to come back. I guess if you don't I can catch a flight back to West's some time tomorrow." Another pause. "I am sorry if I did anything to upset you Matilda. I didn't mean to ruin everything between us." The footsteps moved on and the front door opened and closed before Matilda let her sobs overflow and pour out. Why did it have to hurt so much?

Matilda eventually cried herself to sleep. She woke in the morning to a soft scratching at her bedroom door accompanied by the soft whine of 'hungry'. Grumbling, she sits up and heads for the door to her room and unlocks it. She gives a sigh at the small polar bear sitting outside.

"Alright alright. I'll get you something to eat." Going down the stairs and into the kitchen Matilda notices that Gilbert had left his gloves on the table. Setting down Kumajirou's food she made a mental note to mail them to him, remembering that they had some sentimental value to the Prussian.

Taking note that she was still dressed in her clothes from the day before, she wrinkles her nose and heads up to her room to gather her things for a shower. As Matilda's house was a bit older she did not have a master suite which meant there was one bathroom upstairs that was used by herself and any guests that stayed with her. When she had company over she would generally take her clothes with her into the bathroom to shower and change all in the one room, but when she was alone in the house, save Kumajirou, she would generally take the liberty of crossing the hall in a towel to let herself dry off more comfortably. As was the case today. Laying out her clothes for the day on her bed she made her way across the hall wrapped in a towel before closing the door to the bathroom behind her. She cranked on the water and set it to just the right temperature before stepping inside.

It was while she was showering that Gilbert came back. He had knocked sheepishly on the door and gotten no response. Checking the door he found it was unlocked and cautiously stepped inside. He had gotten to the hotel last night and realized he had left his gloves behind. Not wanting to be long without them he had told himself he would come back in the morning and ask for them. The plan was fine up until he received no answer at the door. Which is why he now found himself standing in the living room scratching his head in thought of where they might be. He also knew he should probably hurry as he heard the shower running upstairs and could figure out that Matilda was probably in there. He wanted to find his gloves before she finished so he could leave without encountering her. Thinking quickly he realized his gloves must be in the guest room and he quietly makes his way up the stairs and down the hall to the room he had been staying in up until last night. A quick search of the room left him still without his gloves and he heavily hangs his head before heading back out into the hall. Just as he is about to step out of the bedroom the shower is shut off. Cursing silently under his breath Gilbert picks up his pace and makes it out into the hall just as the bathroom door opens and... Gilbert locked eyes with the blonde man stepping from Matilda's shower.

He had the same wavy blonde hair cut to his shoulders and same violet glassy eyes as Matilda. But they were also the same as someone else's that he had seen decades ago. "Matthew?" For the first time Gilbert was able to make all the little comparisons he had always overlooked between Matilda and Matthew. As panic began to take hold in Matthew's eyes at Gilbert's continuing gaze, Gilbert was putting the pieces together.

"I I can explain. I I, just." Tears began to well in the violet orbs and it was enough to shock Gilbert out of his trance and realize that this must have been why Matilda pushed him away the night before.

"Birdie, calm down. Just," Gilbert took note that the other was still standing there in nothing but a damp towel. "I'm going to go downstairs. Uh, why don't you get dressed and then you can tell me what's going on. Ok?"

Matthew/Matilda nods and makes his way passed Gilbert into his bedroom before closing the door. Gilbert takes a deep breath before heading downstairs. Thinking about his reaction to learning something obviously so upsetting to the Canadian. He supposed that subconsciously he must have known from the moment he first met Matilda that she and Matthew were the same person. He had consciously at least acknowledged their similarities. Sitting down on the couch he pondered his reaction. Shouldn't he have been angry or disgusted. Matilda, or was it Matthew, had led him on. Making him think he was a girl. Hell now that he thought about it he had made the whole world think that he was a girl. Closing his eyes he had a sudden memory from centuries ago. He and Antonio were taking Francis out to drink after the signing of the treaty in which Francis had had to hand his colony over to England as reparations for the war. He was going on about how England had forced him to give up his little Matthieu, his little boy. Both Gilbert and Antonio had been a bit confused by their friend's reaction as they hadn't ever heard much about this colony. They shrugged it off as Francis being melodramatic. They knew he never really spent much time with any of his colonies, he would much rather wine and dine beautiful women then worry about raising little brats. Gilbert at the time had figured the kid was lucky to be with England now as this meant he would probably be cared for by someone that knew what they were doing with a kid. It was several years later that the trio was once again drinking, this time in celebration of having aided America in successfully rising up against England and gaining his independence. Gilbert had been wary of helping Francis in training America, but he figured if he did at least he could be sure the boy wouldn't get used by Francis for something rotten. He had known that one of the conditions that Francis had pushed for in the treaty was to have Canada given the choice of staying with England or going with America. Gilbert was curious to know how that had gone and was surprised to see Francis at the bar ahead of him already wallowing in misery. He was rambling about how he should have known and how Canada was such an adorable little thing. When asked he had explained how he had mistaken Canada for a boy and that England had figured it out and raised her properly. He had gone on to rant about how he wished his sweet little Canada had decided to come back with him and when it was pointed out that she would have gone with America Francis had scoffed and said the little brat wouldn't be on his own very long. In the end Gilbert had given his friend a long angry rant about how much of a bastard he was before leaving the bar.

Gilbert opened his eyes after thinking about that time. Francis had had it right. Canada was a boy and for some reason had let England and the rest of the world mistake him for a girl. Gilbert was dieing to know why. Usually nations wanted to be seen as strong, confident. Female nations, by nature, were not given equal treatment. Even in modern times female nations were treated as if they could not protect and defend themselves, most being looked after by male relatives and acquaintances. It was old fashioned but most of the nations were old and women's rights had only recently in their lives shifted to be more equal to men's. So why, if you were a man, live as a girl.

About that time Gilbert heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to see Matilda walk down and into the living room. She had a somber air about her as she sat heavily on the couch. It took everything Gilbert had in him to remember that this was a boy, not a girl, sitting across from him.

"I suppose you want an explanation."

"Yeah, an explanation would be nice. Why not start with telling me why you told me Matthew was dead and work your way out from there."

Matilda looked down at his lap, biting his lip nervously. "Because he was. I created Matthew so I could fight in wars. That was the only purpose he served in my life. With everything being so peaceful lately there was no need for him, so he was essentially dead."

"But you are Matthew!"

He shook his head, "No, I'm Matilda. I took that name when Arthur took me in and thought I was a girl. Papa had me in a really frilly outfit so I can't blame him for thinking such. But he was so nice to me because I was a girl. Papa was never there when I was Matthieu and Arthur was always so kind and just there for Matilda. I realized being a girl got me noticed, got me love and affection. I had a family as a girl. If I had remained Matthieu Arthur would have just left me on my own and ignored me, just like Papa did."

Gilbert was shocked. That was why, that was why he had hidden his gender and made everyone think he was a girl. Was Francis really such a bad father? "How did you hide it then? From America and England. Surely one of them would have found out eventually, you were living with them both for a while?"

"I was a girl and by the time Arthur took me in I was big enough to bath myself. Besides being on my own as much as I had been before I knew how to take care of myself. I was small not young."

The two stared at each other before Gilbert broke it with a sigh and ran his hand through his hair.

"Last night. Is the only reason you pushed me away and ran because you didn't want me to find out?"

"Yes." Matilda looks away and bites his lip. "I didn't want you to hate me for lying to you. I'm sure you must be pissed at me and more than likely disgusted with what I've kept from you."

"I don't hate you Birdie. Yeah its a shock but I don't mind that you hid something like this from. I do wish you had felt you could trust me with it though. And for the record, I don't plan on telling anyone."

Matilda was stunned. He didn't mind, he wasn't mad. He wouldn't tell. "Bu but why? I've lied to you. I've been lying to everyone. How can you just accept that?"

"Well, I guess its cause the whole reason you started lying was not really for a bad reason. Francis really didn't care about you and England did. I can see why you would think that had to do with one thinking you were a boy and the other thinking you were a girl, but honestly I think Francis would have treated you pretty much the same either way until you hit puberty and then he wouldn't have left you alone. As for England. I can't really say. As a boy you would have gotten treated differently but I know back in the day he made sure he spent time with all of his colonies. And he had a lot as I'm sure you remember. Being a girl you may have been cuddled more but I doubt things would have been too different. There was no way you would have known that at the time though"

Matilda was still worrying her lip as she looked up at Gilbert with tears him her eyes. "So you're really ok with this? With me living as a girl and not telling anyone."

"Ja, Birdie. I am."

At that moment Gilbert got up and moved to kneel in front of Matilda. placing his hand on his cheek he draws him to face him.

"And Birdie. I still like you, and I have for even longer than I realized."

"Gilbert..." The two draw closer and Gilbert presses his lips gently to Matilda's. The kiss is gentle but full of passion as the two let themselves be taken over by their shared feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, fluffy sugary tooth decaying sweetness. Isn't it just wonderful. This isn't over yet. I have one more chapter to post before this is done. I may have to up the rating for it though... Depending on how it goes when I'm writing it. So please review.


	9. Chapter 9

After Gilbert found out about Matilda being a guy the two had spent the rest of the day talking. Matilda had explained how Matthew had come to be and why. Gilbert had completely understood. After all a girl couldn't have fought in war like that and since it seemed Matilda hadn't even told his boss that he was a guy the only way he could have participated was to enlist as Matthew. Gilbert had been nearly in tears from laughing so hard at the explanation for why Matthew was a common soldier instead of an officer like most nations insist on being during war. Gilbert admitted though that it was a good idea since he was able to be closer to his people because of it. It also helped Gilbert to understand just how it was that Matthew had been able to rally the others in the camp to rise up like they did. Being a nation gave one a natural charisma. After they had talked Gilbert had once again promised to keep the secret before parting with one last kiss.

The next several months went by with Matilda letting Gilbert get to know him, without hiding behind the guise of being a girl. Matilda still wasn't completely comfortable with letting Gilbert touch him all over as he sometimes wanted to do and Gilbert respected that. He kept his hands over his clothes rather than under and let Matilda set the pace for things when they were alone. The biggest thing had been when Matilda let Gilbert share his bed rather than make him sleep in the guest room. Gilbert had been more than happy to simply snuggle up against the Canadian, though due to a size difference, one that Gilbert had been blissfully unaware of until they were laying next to each other in bed, Gilbert was the one being snuggled. When meetings inevitably rolled around Matilda invited Gilbert to stay in his hotel room rather than stay with his brother. Gilbert readily agreed.

It was at one of these meetings that the two were enjoying watching a hockey match. Despite being away for meetings the Canadian still refused to miss even a single match and always made sure the hotel he stayed in would carry the game if one was going on during his stay. The match had been heated and very close. When the final buzzer rang the two had jumped and cheered. When a celebratory kiss became more heated the two fell onto the bed, limbs getting tangled together. Matilda was the first to let his hands venture into new territory by exploring up and under the albino's shirt. Gilbert followed suit, his hands reaching up and exploring the soft yet hard lines of his partner's torso. Eventually Gilbert felt Matilda grinding his erection into his own and let out a small his at the pleasurable pressure.

"Nnn, Mattie."

"Shut up and kiss me Gil." Matilda pressed into Gilbert with even more passion, his tongue forcing its way past pale lips to ravage the albino's mouth. Shirts were soon removed and tossed aside, soon followed by a stuffed bra that Matilda wore to add to the illusion of being female. Things began to heat up even more as Matilda found himself flipping Gilbert so he was under him. He crashed their lips together surprising the albino with how forceful he was being. Matilda was dominating and there was little Gilbert could do but go along for he ride. Hands made their way into pants, or in Matilda's case skirts, and soon they were pleasuring one another. Panting and sweaty Matilda pulled Gilbert's pants off and tossed them to join the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He then disrobed Gilbert of his boxers as Gilbert removed his skirt and panties. Naked before one another for the first time Matilda took the time to admire all of what Gilbert had to offer, his eyes hazing over with lust as he drank it all in. Gilbert wasn't much better. True he had seen the Canadian in only a towel, but that was only once and for a short period of time in which he had been distracted by other thoughts. Now able to see the Canadian in all his glory he was surprised at just how masculine the other truly was. Yes his features were soft and his hands were a little on the dainty side. His waist was narrow but his shoulders were neither broad nor narrow and his chest and abs were well defined. He had toned legs from all the skating and hiking he did. Not to mention his package was well above average. Gilbert liked what he saw, but swallowed when he realized that Matilda was already taking control and mapping his body with his hands and tongue. Where the hell had Matilda learned all this, wasn't he a virgin? All thoughts of an innocent little, yeah little his ass, blonde flew out the window when Matilda reached his cock and flicked his tongue out at the tip before experimentally taking the head into his mouth. Gilbert let out a garbled and choked moan before Matilda took more of him into his mouth. Gilbert began to scramble for purchase, eventually his hands finding the top of Matilda's head encouraging the blonde to continue. Reaching down Matilda used his free hand to cup Gilbert's balls and massage them as he continued to go down on the albino. Gilbert twitched slightly before moaning long and low and cumming into the Canadian's mouth. Matilda swallows down what she can, licking his lips and Gilbert's shaft to get anything that had dribbled out.

Gilbert let himself collapse back onto the bed with a soft whine before Matilda was hovering over him raining soft kisses across his face.

"In my bag." Gilbert managed to wheeze out, "The small bottle of lube. I'll walk you through how to..." Matilda pecks him on the lips before getting up to get the lube. He comes back half laying next to Gilbert on the bed. Gilbert had managed to catch his breath a bit in the interim. "Squeeze a bit onto your fingers and rub it around to warm it up." As Matilda did as instructed Gilbert was resigning himself to what was coming. Despite being awesome and the invader of vital regions even he had to admit Matilda didn't seem the submissive type and instead of fighting this he figured he'd just go with it. He grabs a pillow and lifts his hips enough to get it under his rear. "All lubed up?"

Matilda nods and Gilbert pulls him in for a quick kiss.

"Ok, then be gentle. You start by sliding one finger in. Work it in and out for a bit before sliding the other in."

Matilda seemed to hesitate, not sure who to prepare.

"Birdie." Gilbert kisses him again. "I'll bottom, so just be gentle alright."

Matilda nods again. "Alright, but next time..."

"Ja Birdie, I understand."

Matilda moves around a bit and slowly presses one of his slicked fingers at Gilbert's puckered hole. Slowly it enters and he does exactly as Gilbert had instructed. When it seemed that Gilbert was comfortable with the one finger Matilda gently pushed in the second, working them the same as the one.

"Nn now spread your fingers a bit. You're going to need to spread me and stretch me. I'm going to be really tight since I haven't bottomed before ok."

Matilda had begun to follow Gilbert's advice when the end of what he said got to him and he stilled.

"Gilbert?"

At the worry in his partner's voice Gilbert manages to lift his head slightly and give a reassuring smile. "Its ok Birdie. I love you and I I want this. So don't worry about it."

Nodding Matilda resumes his preparation of the albino's hole. At Gilbert's prompting he adds a third and fourth finger, spreading and stretching out the tight muscles. By this time Gilbert was once again hard and panting as he instructed Matilda to squeeze out more lube and rub it on his own cock. With that done Matilda moved so his cock was poised at Gilbert's entrance. He leaned down for a kiss before Gilbert urged him to get on with it. Both smiled at how Gilbert it was for him to say that. Slowly Matilda pushed forward, nearly stopping at the wince that flitted across Gilbert's face, but he wouldn't have any of it and told him to continue. When Matilda was pushed all the way in the two lay there against one another until Gilbert bucked his hips and hissed out a harsh 'move'. Matilda then pulled out before pushing back in. The pace was torture for both and just as Gilbert was about to demand that Matilda go faster the other had brushed his prostate rendering him mute as stars seemed to explode behind his eyes. Gilbert's sudden open mouth silent scream had Matilda stilling, thinking he had done something wrong.

"Do don't stop." Was gasped out. "Move, faster and try to hit that again."

Nodding Matilda resumed thrusting, picking up the pace and trying to go at the same angle as before. He must have been doing a good job of it as Gilbert was becoming more and more vocal. Crying out in pleasure at the sensation of having his prostate struck repeatedly. The sight was so erotic that Matilda couldn't help but lean down and harshly kiss the other. The two continued as Matilda picked up the pace. They were both reaching their peaks and parted from their kiss as one last strike to his prostate had Gilbert crying out as his orgasm tore through him. The tightening of his ass as he came was all it took for Matilda to follow, moaning and cumming into the tight, dark hole. The couple collapsed onto the bed and Gilbert had to nudge Matilda to remind him to pull out. Panting the two spent the next few minutes recovering before snuggling into each other.

The next morning found Gilbert stiffly waking up to Matilda getting dressed and straightening up the room. He seemed to have an extra spring to his step and Gilbert couldn't help but smirk at how the blonde moved around the room. Then realizing the cal of nature he moves to get out of bed and lets out a long hiss at the pain erupting from his rear. The hiss drew the attention of the other person in the room and Matilda was quickly at his side.

"Gil, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything's fine Birdie. Just a little sore from last night." At the worried look growing on his face Gilbert quickly interjected, "Don't worry I'll be fine. a warm shower and some walking around should make it go away." Gilbert gave Matilda a reassuring smile. "So don't worry about it and get going, you have a meeting this morning right?"

Matilda nods and heads out as Gilbert gingerly makes his way to the shower. Today was going to be interesting.

After his shower Gilbert got dressed and decided he'd head down for breakfast in the hotel's restaurant. As he was approaching it though he almost turned around to look for something else. There standing by the entrance to the restaurant was Francis and he did not look overly happy.

"Bonjour, mon ami. I hope you slept well."

Gilbert was hoping it was just the lighting causing Francis' expression to grow darker and not the fact his friend was pissed at him for something. Though he wasn't too hopeful on that.

"Morning Franny. They serving anything good this morning?"

He made to go past his friend and enter the restaurant while at the same time disguising his limp, he was still sore damnit. Francis wouldn't have it though and stuck an arm out to stop him.

"Gilbert. Your brother tells me you are not staying with him during the conference. He also mentioned you staying with someone named Matilda." Oh this time Gilbert definitely saw Francis' look darken at the mention of his former colony's name. Gilbert gulped.

"Yeah..."

"Gilbert, mon ami. I do hope you are being a perfect gentleman to mon petit. She is a delicate little thing and I do not want a brute like you soiling her." Gilbert scowled a bit at the possessive manner that Francis was using to talk about Matilda. It wasn't like Francis had any say on what he did, he was a grown man. Then again Francis and everyone still thought Matilda was a girl, Gilbert was the only one who knew differently. Ok, the bear knew too, but he didn't count. Still it didn't matter, maybe if this had been America, or hell England, he wouldn't have been so defensive about his relationship with the Canadian. But this was Francis. The man that had set the conditions in place for Matilda to be scared to reveal her true self to the world. The man that had plotted to take not only Matilda but his brother when he had been helping America with his revolution. The hell if he was going to let Francis think he ever stood a chance at taking what had been given last night.

"Or what Franny. You'll do something drastic. I know you've only been bidding your time to take her. Ever since you help America fight his revolution you've been planning to seduce both. But things didn't pan out then. She stayed with England instead of going with her brother and you never got a chance to get close enough to either of them after that." Gilbert then let a smirk grace his features as he put the nail in the coffin. "Besides there's no way you could be her first now."

Francis' expression was boiling with anger as he processed what he had just been told. It was too bad for Gilbert though that he hadn't realized that Matilda's meeting had ended and those in it were coming out to the restaurant in time to hear what Gilbert had said. This lead to a very angry American reaching out and grabbing Gilbert by the collar and spinning him around to face both himself and a pissed of Englishman.

Gilbert's smirk suddenly melted off his face as the two English speaking nations glowered at him. The sudden movement also had Gilbert fighting back a wince from his still sore rear. America at least didn't notice anything.

"What is this I hear about you and my sister?"

Matilda was back a bit further in the group and was trying to work his way to the front, knowing that America and England would be anything but lenient with his boyfriend. She can see Gilbert gulp and also that he seems to be in slight pain.

America then slams Gilbert into a wall earning a yelp of pain from the albino. "I told you not to do anything with her. You said the two of you were just friends!"

"I if I recall I said I wouldn't hurt her."

Another slam and Ludwig is there trying to get America to release Gilbert.

"America, calm down. I'm sure mein bruder didn't..."

"Shut up West. Its not a misunderstanding." Just as Matilda makes his way tot he front of the crowd she sees Gilbert continue. "Matilda and I have been seeing each other for a couple of months now. Things got a bit heated last night and you can guess where it went after that. It wasn't anything she didn't want so quit spazzing and put me down."

Gilbert sees the fist coming at his face and sees his life flash before his eyes. He closes his eyes and braces for impact but it never comes. He heard the sound of flesh meeting flesh but there was no pain. Cautiously he opens his eyes and sees that Matilda had managed to catch his brother's fist in his palm and was holding it in place inches from Gilbert's nose. Gilbert could see America straining with trying to remove his fist from the other's hand and it shocked him. He knew America was strong, he had trained the kid to control that strength in the revolution but for Matilda to stop that fist with such ease. They had all been seriously underestimating the Canadian.

"Al, that's enough. Please put Gil down." America must have been shocked by the act as well and relaxed his grip on the albino as well as loosening his fist. Without the support of the American holding him up Gilbert was dropped and began to fall tot he ground but was caught by Matilda. She gave him a small reassuring smile before turning to the others around them. Most of them seemed to understand that this was private and dispersed, only Francis, America and England staying behind.

England may have been none to pleased with hearing that Matilda had gotten together with Gilbert but he had also seen something very curious about the way that Gilbert held himself. Whatever it was cemented in his mind when Gilbert had nearly collapsed after being released. He'd been slammed rather hard by the American but he still should have been able to remain on his feet. But he hadn't. Something wasn't adding up.

"Mattie, I can't believe you're defending this guy. He violated you. Seriously, let me pound him into a pulp."

"Honestly Al, with as easily as I stopped you just now do you think that Gilbert would have been able to do anything I didn't want to do? Gil and I have been seeing each other for months now. I haven't even tried hiding it from anyone."

"B but what if he's just using you? I have to protect my little sister."

For some reason that caused something to snap inside of him and Matilda whirled about to face his brother. Anger radiating off of him.

"What, like when you came and tried to protect me from Arthur in 1812? I don't need protecting Alfred, I can take care of myself. And for the record I'm not younger than you. I spent a lot of time wondering about on my own before you were born. Before the rest of Europe even thought to cross the Atlantic. I can handle myself Al, I don't need you protecting me."

"But, you're still a girl. What if he hurts you?"

And for the first time since Matilda put on this charade of being a girl he realized fully why it was girls got special treatment. Why it was that every female nation he met seemed to be under the control of a male nation. He hadn't ever thought of it before but the male nations all just assumed being a girl meant you were weak and incapable of defending yourself.

"But I'm not."

"Huh?" The other three blondes stared in confusion as Matilda straightened up and looked them all in the eyes.

"I'm not a girl."

"Of course you are Matilda, you're a very pretty girl too."

"Come on Mattie, what's gotten into you today. You can't just say you're not a girl, you got all the parts for it."

England was the only one silent after the admission. He had glanced between Gilbert and Matilda, studying them.

"Matilda."

All eyes turned to England as he drew attention to himself.

"When we first met. Francis had you dressed in frills and ruffles. You also asked me to pick a new name for you at that time. What name did Francis call you before that?"

Matilda cringed at the question but answered honestly. "Matthieu. He called me Matthieu."

"And the frills and ruffles?"

"He thought they made me look cute. I always hated them because I thought they made me look like a girl and they were hard to move in."

"So why didn't you correct me when I mistook you for a girl?"

"I..."

"He was scared." All attention shifted to Gilbert who had finally made it to his feet with a wince. "He was scared you'd leave him alone like Francis did. Francis hardly paid him any attention when he was little and under his control. Which is why it was easy for Matilda to convince Francis that he was really a girl when they met again. Right Matilda?"

Matilda nods and England seems to take this into consideration.

"I suppose I've been a ruddy fool to have fallen for such a subterfuge, but Ma, er, we can't very well continue calling you Matilda now can we?"

Matilda blinks in confusion, "Why not I like that name?"

"Well its just not very proper for a boy."

"So."

"Hey, I'm still lost. So Mattie is a boy and still dating Prussia. Then what about last night?" The American's face was all scrunched up in confusion as he tries to figure it out.

"Oi, dummkopf. In case you hadn't notice I'm the one walking with a limp, not Mattie."

You could have heard a pin drop and Gilbert's face was burning at the admission. After all his pride was on the line here. He had bottomed to a cross dresser.

"Well I suppose that settles that then doesn't it? Well then, er, Canada we should find you a proper name now that all of this is being cleared up."

Matilda still didn't understand why she couldn't continue going by the name she's used for centuries but supposed it was for the best in avoiding confusion with others.

"Don't worry about it. I've used the name Matthew before when I needed to be a boy. I can just use that one. Its pretty close to Matilda at least."

Both America and England seem to scrunch up their faces at hearing that name, like it was familiar but they couldn't quite place it. Matthew just smirked at their expressions.

"You both remember Matthew don't you?"

"I, it does seem like I've heard the name before. But I can't place where."

"Yeah same here."

Gilbert chuckled a bit as the two tried to figure it out.

"We ran into each other during World War II while I was Matthew. I had been captured by a Prussian officer after getting separated from my platoon. He took me to a prison camp where he was the commanding officer. I was there maybe a month before I was able to escape with the rest of the Allied prisoners held there. When we made it back behind Allied lines we all received medals and awards for our escape. everyone else that escaped with me pointed out that I had been the one to lead them out. You two were the ones that presented the awards."

Both blondes stared in shock as the story unfolded. They remembered that event. The Canadian soldier that had lead to the freeing of an entire encampment of POWs had been given several different medals of honor from each nation that had had prisoners there. England and America had been the two to present the soldier with those medals. They hadn't made the connection at the time, but now they couldn't but to do so.

"Bloody hell. How did we not notice?"

"The fuck Mattie, that was you?"

"Don't worry about it too much Arthur, Gilbert spent quite a bit of time with me when I was Matthew and more recently as Matilda and he didn't make the connection either. Not until he saw me in only a towel that is."

And more arguing erupted after that as America made it very clear he didn't like the idea of Gilbert seeing his brother in nothing but a towel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok ending is lame but I hope you all enjoyed this little bit of insanity that I have written out for you. Please review, they let me know you care.


	10. Aftermath

Once Matthew had managed to calm his brother down Arthur brought up that Matthew would need to come clean to the rest of the world about his true gender. Matthew hadn't really minded since he figured there wasn't much point to hiding the fact anymore. Arthur tried to get him to agree that for the rest of the meetings he would borrow Alfred's spare suit and attend them properly dressed. He argued that he didn't like having to wear a borrowed suit and that he had time to go out and get one at a nearby store. His argument being that Alfred's suit would be too big.

"The two of you are the same bloody height!"

"But Arthur I'm leaner. I don't have all of Alfred's... muscle on me."

Gilbert had to hold back laughter at the subtle poke at Alfred's weight. It was a good thing he didn't notice though or he'd be in the corner crying about being fat.

"It won't be much of a hassle to get a suit and I have a few hours till my next meeting. If you want you can even come along and help me find one you find appropriate."

Arthur scowled for a bit longer before relenting. After a quick lunch Arthur, Matthew and Gilbert left to find a men's clothing store to get a suit. It didn't take long to find one and they made their way inside.

"Hello. How may I help you today?"

"Yes, well, we're looking for a suit."

"You've come to the right place then. Right this way to the fitting area. Miss you can sit over there in the lounge area while I get these two fitted."

Matthew looks down sheepishly as Gilbert cracks up and Arthur explains to the salesman that Matthew is the one they are getting the suit for.

"You do realize this is a men's store though, don't you. I don't have any suits for women."

"I'm sorry, but I am a man. Um can we just go back and I can try one on and you'll see."

Matthew heads towards the back where the fitting rooms are, not waiting for the salesman. Under his breath Gilbert swears he hears the other cursing the fact he's so effeminate and wishing he'd noticed sooner.

Nervously the salesman follows grabbing a few suits in sizes he thinks should fit the young man/woman, he still wasn't convinced it was a man. They get to the fitting room and he shows Matthew to one and hands him the suits.

"Thank you."

Matthew takes them and disappears into the dressing room. A few minutes later he is stepping out in one of the suits, patting it down and looking himself over.

"Hmmm, so does it look like it fits?" He looks up and sees Arthur and the salesman staring at him with their jaws practically on the floor.

"Oh, it, it seems to fit just fine sir. I'm sorry about earlier. You, were just so convincing."

"Hmm?" Matthew looks with confusion to Arthur then Gilbert, who seems to be trying to hold in his laughter at the reaction of the other two. "Gilbert?"

"So sorry Mattie, its just when you change from trying to look like a girl to a guy, well its a big change. I can never figure out how you hide all that when you wear a dress, it just doesn't seem possible but hey, I'm not complaining."

"Gilbert..." Matthew didn't really understand what the other was saying and looked in the mirror. He didn't seem all that different than before. Same hair, same eyes, same shape to everything. Well except his chest was flat now since he had left his stuffed bra with his other clothes. It was odd wearing pants again after so long though and seeing how thin his hips were was strange to him, every skirt he owned had given the appearance of wider hips but wearing straight legged slacks showed just how slim he was. "I don't see what's so different though."

"Ma Matthew, lad..." Arthur is lost for words and instead turns to the salesman. "We'll take the one he's wearing and if you could fit him for a few others we would appreciate it."

"Ah, yes."

The salesman quickly fitted Matthew for a few other suits and told the three they would be ready to be picked up the next day. Arthur insisted on paying for the suits and did so despite Matthew's protests that he could handle it himself. When they finished at the store they headed back to the hotel the conference was being held in and Matthew checked the time.

"Ah, shoot, I have an arctic council meeting in a few minutes. Thank you for the suits Arthur." With that Matthew ran off to his meeting. He reached the door just in time and headed inside only to find everyone staring at him, including Alfred.

"Who are you?" Echoed around the room at his entrance and Matthew felt himself slump slightly at not being recognized, he couldn't look that different.

"Mattie?" At least it seemed Alfred recognized him. Matthew smiles at his brother and nods.

"Yeah Alfred, its me."

The other nations seem to blink as one before Ivan is standing up and moving over to him. When he is right in front of the other he stops and looks down. Matthew looks up at him and meets his eyes.

"Canada?"

"Yes, that's me. I don't look that different do I?"

Ivan shifts uncomfortably before turning to go back to his seat. Matthew just blinks at his retreating back.

"Ivan?"

When Ivan sits in his seat he lets his head fall straight onto the table and everyone stares at him as he begins to laugh.

"This is some kind of joke, da? Little Matilda is a girl and she is just playing a joke on us."

"Um Ivan?" Alfred and a few others get up and go to check on the hysterical nation while everyone else continues to stare at Matthew.

"You're really Matilda then?"

He nods."

"Why are you..." Mathias wasn't sure how to finish that sentence at all. He wasn't sure if this meant Matilda was a girl and just crossdressing or a boy and had been crossdressing.

"Well Arthur found out I'd been crossdressing all this time and insisted I dress properly for meetings from now on so... Uh here I am." Matthew was trying to be confident but it was hard to do so when everyone was staring at him. He wasn't even really sure why.

"You're a guy! How did no one notice before?"

"Anko calm down. He looks completely different dressed like this, probably just a lot of practice in keeping up the charade of a woman is why no one noticed. Right Matilda?"

"Er, I guess. Um and its Matthew now. Arthur said it wouldn't be right to keep calling myself Matilda, though I don't really understand his reasoning."

The others in the room just stare at him, trying to figure out if he is being serious or not. In the end they decide it isn't worth the headache of trying to figure out and get the meeting started. Ivan never did fully recover from the shock and left the meeting mumbling something about how he was no longer so sure if he liked women.

The next day was one of the world meetings, with everyone attending. News of Matthew had spread quickly through the nations and eventually reached Elizabeta and Feliks. The two were standing outside the meeting room waiting for Matthew to come by so they could ambush him about his gender identity.

They almost missed him though as he really did look very different from before. Fortunately these two were familiar with the changes clothes could make on a person and they managed to grab him with a slight squeak.

"Ah, Elizabeta, Feliks! What are you two doing?"

"Hmmm, so he really is a man." Feliks pouts, "No fair that he's, like, totally better at it than I am."

"Aw, its ok Feliks, maybe he'll tell you his secrets."

Matthew stared at the two in confusion and tried to slip away but Elizabeta had a strong grip on his arm that wasn't relenting.

"So Matthew, right? Were you just thinking you were a girl all this time or was it something else?"

"I've always known I was a boy. I just liked life as a girl better." Matthew was aware of Elizabeta's own gender confusion. After Gilbert found out about Matthew's crossdressing he had asked pretty much the same thing she was now, explaining how Elizabeta had thought she was a boy until it became too obvious she wasn't.

"So you, like, choose to dress as a girl?"

"Well yeah."

Feliks was a well known crossdresser, no one was really sure why. Sure he was gay but he also was rather masculine and dominant. Odd coming from the Pole but that was how things had worked out.

"Hmm, well I guess we should, like, be friends from now on then. Since we both like it so much."

"Uh, I guess we could. But my family is trying to convince me to stop." Matthew furrows his brows. "Its not like its really that big of a deal if I still like wearing dresses, right?"

"Of course not!" Both Elizabeta and Feliks cry out. Matthew looks wearily at them. Feliks just looks like he's made a new friend but Elizabeta has a strange glint in her eyes that makes Matthew want to back away slowly.

Then, out of the blue, came the strangest question of the morning.

"So are you, like, seeing anyone?"

"Wha?"

"Do you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend?"

"I I don't really see what that has to do with anything?"

"So you do? Who is it? Is it a nation? Do you top or bottom?"

The questions came rapid fire and Matthew wasn't sure how to answer. He really began wishing Gilbert was there but he had let the man sleep in since he wasn't required to be at the meeting.

"Uh, I, what does that mean? Topping? Bottoming?"

At his confused look Elizabeta frowns a bit. She hadn't thought he wouldn't understand.

"Its a way of expressing who is dominant in the relationship. Most often its the one that's most effeminate that bottoms or is submissive."

Matthew furrows his eyebrows and frowns slightly at what he is being told. So being the one to dominate the other, being more masculine meant you topped. He thought about him and Gilbert. Gilbert had let him take control of their first time, so he had topped then, but he was definitely more effeminate than Gilbert.

"I guess both."

The two blink at him in confusion.

"What does that mean?"

"I, well, Gilbert and I agreed to take turns, uh, being submissive? We're equals in this. Though he has way more experience than I do."

"Gilbert? You're seeing Gilbert?"

"And the two of you are on equal footing as far as top and bottom go?"

"That's..."

"Just so weird."

"Hmm? Why is it strange. Isn't it a good thing that we're equal?"

"Uh well I suppose so, but still this is Gilbert we're talking about. He's not really the type to lay down and take something, he has a very dominant personality."

Matthew gives Elizabeta a confused look. "Yeah but he still has his moments where he isn't. I pulled one over on him back in the last world war and he always seems to sit a little further way during hockey games. I think that's more he doesn't want to get hit accidentally though."

Feliks and Elizabeta take a turn to stare.

"So Gilbert's, like, known for a while that you were a guy?"

"Huh, he only found out a few months ago."

"Then what was that about getting 'one over on him'?"

"Hmm, well when war came around I'd stop crossdressing and enlist as a soldier. I got captured by Gilbert and taken to a prison camp he was overseeing. I broke out and freed the other POW's as well. Gilbert actually looked up to me after that, even if he didn't exactly know who I was."

"You, have got to be kidding. So you're kind of badass then?"

"Um yeah I guess. Um shouldn't we head into the meeting now. We don't want to be late."

After that things went rather normally for Matthew. Despite everyone having suddenly taken an interest in his supposed gender change. by the time the whole conference had come to an end Matthew had gotten used to the odd looks and random questions about how he was fitting in. At one point Ivan had even come up to him and asked if he would be interested in joining in the after conference hockey game as a player rather than a spectator. Matthew was all to happy to participate in the game and due to his participation a larger crowd than normal appeared to watch. Matthew was put on defense by Mathias, the captain of his team, and when the game began it wasn't really that different from how it usually went. Some of the nations that didn't normally come started to wonder if maybe they should leave when Ivan got the puck. For whatever reason he thought going down the ice past Matthew was the best plan. However, he wasn't counting on the Canadian coming after him aggressively and slamming him into the boards with enough force to split them. Ivan crumpled to the ice, winded and gasping for breath as everyone else just stared. Matthew paused, wide eyed, before kneeling down to check on the larger nation.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to slam into you so hard. Are you going to be ok?"

At the concern and worry in the other's voice Ivan couldn't help but chuckle a bit, though it sounded rather pained.

"It is alright, Matvey. I will be fine. Though you may have broken a rib... or three."

After that they got Ivan off the ice and patched up and the rest of the game was called off. Suddenly everyone was giving Mathew a wide berth to which Gilbert just chuckled and wrapped his arms around his partner.

"Keseses, that was awesome Mattie."

Matthew just smiled. He didn't mind how people saw him as long as he had Gilbert by him he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, sappy ending and I hope you all enjoyed this. Please review.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you guys like this. And I know I really should be getting to work on finishing other things I've started but, I've never seen this done. So I really want to do it and share it with you guys. Hopefully now that I'm using Google Documents and can be terribly bad with working on things at work this will be finished quickly. Please review and let me know what you think.


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